Ocarina of Time Rewrite II
by PDFarsight
Summary: Not a sequel, just me making fun of another part of the storyline. Again, should be funny.
1. Default Chapter

The Legend of Zelda: OCARINA OF TIME Rewrite Part 2  
  
  
After battling Twinmold and coming out victorious, Link set Nabooru, the last sage, free. Now containing the power of all six sages, Link was finally ready to challenge Ganondorf face-to-face. With help from the sages, Link was able to enter Ganondorf's Castle. Using the skills and items obtained from the previous temples, Link destroyed all the evil spirit barriers, and was finally able to enter Ganondorf's Tower. Conquering the final challenges, Link ascended to the top level, where Ganondorf was playing on a pipe organ.  
  
  
  
Link: (walks into Ganon's quarters)   
  
Ganon: (playing very slowly and concentrating hard on hitting the right notes) Ma-ry had a lit-tle lamb... lit-tle lamb.. lit-OW! (gets hit on the knuckles with a ruler)  
  
Old ugly piano teacher: You messed up again, dimwit! You were supposed to use a C-sharp and you used a C-flat!... You OBVIOUSLY haven't been practicing three times a day.  
  
Link: This game has really gone downhill. Bad.  
  
Ganon: Hey, give me a break! Being King of the World isn't easy, you know! Plus, I got this pesky little runt kid that keeps--  
  
Old ugly piano teacher: (hits him on the shoulder with the ruler) No excuses! By next week, you had better be playing "Mary had a little lamb" in your SLEEP! How are you going to intimidate those who oppose you without an eerie, creepy theme song?  
  
Ganon: Well... I guess I could--  
  
Zelda: (interrupting from a large crystal prison floating in the air and playing with a bowl) My water bowl is empty.   
  
Ganon: Shut up!  
  
Zelda: (looks up and notices Link) Oh my gosh! Link!  
  
Ganon: Link?? He's here?! Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod, get out of here! (throws piano teacher out the window)  
  
Old ugly piano teacher: (outside) Auuuuugggghhhh! [SPLAT]  
  
Ganon: (panicking) Okay.... okay.... okay... Link! Link, go back outside! Yeah, you go back outside, and when I say "Okay", you walk in and act all shocked and stuff, okay? And you, Zelda, when he walks in look at him in a "please save me" kind of way, okay? Okay?  
  
Zelda: Seems fair.  
  
Link: Sure thing. (walks back out)  
  
Ganon: (puts cape on, fixes hair, puts on gloves, puts a tic tac in his mouth, and turns to the organ) OKAY!   
  
Link: (walks in) Gasp!  
  
Zelda: (looking at Link in a "please save me" kind of way)  
  
Ganon: (playing the organ)  
  
Link: (a Triforce symbol appears on the back of his hand with the left triangle glowing) Hey, cool!  
  
Zelda: (a Triforce symbol appears on the back of her hand with the right triangle glowing) Wow.  
  
Ganon: (a Triforce symbol appears on the back of his hand with the top triangle glowing, and he stops playing) ...The Triforce parts are--  
  
Link: ATCHOO! *sniff sniffle*  
  
Ganon: (glares at Link)  
  
Link: Sorry.  
  
Ganon: (sighs, and continues again) The Triforce parts are resonating... they're coming together again. ...Those two pieces I could not obtain that day seven years ago... I never would have guessed they would be hidden within you two!  
  
Link: (tapping his heart) Aww... that hurts me right here, Ganondorf!  
  
Ganon: (glaring, he continues) These toys are too much for you... (raises his fist dramatically and the Triforce symbol glows) ...I command that you give them to me! (sends a vortex of darkness and evil at Link)   
  
Link: Augh! (struggling to stand against the wave of evil)  
  
Navi: (to herself) Uh oh, Link really needs me! However.... he did take the last donut back at the inn... maybe I should sit this one out. Heh heh heh. I sure hope he does alright without me. Heh heh heh. (to Link) Link! The waves of darkness are too strong! I can't help you in this next battle!  
  
Link: What!?  
  
Navi: I'm sorry Link! ...hehehe... (flies away)  
  
Link: Crap!  
  
Ganon: Ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha ha ha! (floats into the air and slams the floor with his fist, causing the center square of tiles to fall away)  
  
Link: WAAAAH! He can fly?! (runs to the wall, barely escaping the new trench)  
  
Ganon: Hahaha! Running like a scared rabbit without putting up a good fight! I guess I'll just put you out of your misery. (shoots an energy blast at Link)  
  
Link: (wincing, and readying himself for the imminent pain. Suddenly, he realizes something, and hits the blast with the Master Sword in one smooth lightning-fast movement. The blast dissipates as it hits the sword)   
  
Ganon: What!?   
  
Link: (smiling confidently) Remember, you made a phantom copy of yourself for me to beat at the Forest Temple? That was really stupid. It was like giving me a weakened copy of you to practice on. Like an vaccine.  
  
Ganon: Grr...   
  
Link: You know, a vaccine? Vaccines are weakened or dead copies of an antigen which are purposely entered into your body in order to give your cells a chance to work up an immunity to it should the real virus ever happen to-  
  
Ganon: I GET IT ALREADY!!  
  
Link: Oh. Well, basically, those little energy blasts of yours are really weak. Even a sword could send it back at you.  
  
Ganon: Well, sure, maybe the MASTER Sword, created millennia ago by the most powerful sages in order to combat evil... but not any normal sword.  
  
Link: Nono, really! A regular sword could do it! Here, send one at me, and I'll knock it back at you with THIS sword. (takes out the Biggoron Sword)  
  
Ganon: Ha! Right. Prepare to die, kid! (shoots an energy blast at him)  
  
Link: (knocks it away)  
  
Ganon: Hey! (sends it back at him)  
  
Link: See? I can even use this glass bottle to counter it. (hits it back with the bottle)  
  
Ganon: ....STOP IT!  
  
Link: Hahaha, this is pathetic! The great Ganondorf, with the Triforce of Power, and he gets beaten by a bottle.   
  
Ganon: SHUT UUUUUUUUPPPPPPP! (the room gets dark, and little particles of light seem to flock towards Ganondorf. He begins to laugh maniacally as he manipulates the light and turns it into a black void of darkness above him)  
  
Link: (staring forward in a frightened awe) Oh sh-  
  
Ganon: HIYAAAAAA! (with a mighty heave, sends three powerful energy blasts at Link at the same time)  
  
Link: (tries to run for the split second of time that he can, but gets hit by the blasts and gets knocked against the wall violently, and sparks of energy left over from the blast surround him) Gh-...ow.  
  
Ganon: Ha ha ha ha! Pathetic indeed! Hahahaha! (sends another blast at Link)  
  
Link: (gets up, but gets hit back down by the blast. In extreme pain, he struggles to get up for a second. He looks at Ganon with a face of pure hatred one final time, and struggles a little more. Finally, he is still.)  
  
Ganon: AH HA HA HA! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! FINALLY, I HAVE BEATEN HIM!  
  
Zelda: Link! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
  
  
Oh NO! Our hero has fallen! Ganondorf, the Evil King, has won! Now the world will be thrown into darkness forever! ...Or WILL IT? Find out next time, on the next exciting episode of The Legend of Zelda: OCARINA OF TIME Rewrite!  
  
  



	2. Ocarina of tiem Rewrite Part 2... CHAPTE...

The Legend of Zelda: OCARINA OF TIME Part 2, Chapter 2  
  
  
In our last episode, Link finally got the chance to challenge Ganon for the final showdown. After a few setbacks, they were ready to fight. Ganon's attack was easilly dispelled by Link and the Master Sword (and various other items), but after some taunting, Ganon manages to create the ultimate spell, so powerful that it killed Link in two mighty blows. Will Ganon really reign Hyrule with the Triforce of Power, with no one to stop him? Find out, on this next exciting episode of The Legend of Zelda: OCARINA OF TIME Rewrite!  
  
  
Inside Ganon's Castle, top floor of the tower  
  
Ganon: Ha ha ha ha! Pathetic indeed! Hahahaha! (sends another blast at Link)  
  
Link: (gets up, but gets hit back down by the blast. In extreme pain, he struggles to get up for a second. He looks at Ganon with a face of pure hatred one final time, and struggles a little more. Finally, he is still.)  
  
Ganon: AH HA HA HA! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! FINALLY, I HAVE BEATEN HIM!  
  
Zelda: Link! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Ganon: Ha ha ha ha ha! Looks like Hyrule, no--the WORLD is mine! Hahaha! I am the smartest and the best! Gods tremble before my ire! No one dare's challenge- (suddenly, he looks off to the side, and his eyes widen) NOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Link: (suddenly, a fairy emerges from a bottle Link was carrying. It slowly circles Link two times, then Link begins to glow. Link's eyes open slightly, and he begins to push himself up. Strenthened by the fairy's power, he struggles to his feet, and then is fully restored. He breathes deeply for a few seconds, then his head snaps up and he smiles at Ganon)  
  
Zelda: (smiles) Thank goodness...  
  
Ganon: (pulling at his hair) NOOOOOOOOO!! HOW?! HOW COULD THIS BE POSSIBLE!?!?!!?  
  
Link: (smile grows wider) Sorry, I forgot to tell you. Those bottles I was talking about... they aren't all empty. That one is, but I have three more, and each one has a fairy in it. Fairies will bring me back to life after I die, totally refilling my life energy.  
  
Ganon: ...(whining) That's cheating!  
  
Link: Well, you can fly and shoot bolts of energy and stuff!  
  
Ganon: ...Shut up! (shoots a bolt of energy at Link)  
  
Link: (knocks it back)  
  
Ganon: (gets hit by it) Augh! Ha ha ha! Pathetic fool! You think a-(suddenly, an arrow that glows with a bright light embedded itself in Ganon's flesh. The light in the arrow coursed through his veins, poisoning him and his evil) YAAAAAUUUGGGHHH! (falls to the ground)  
  
Link: (takes out hookshot and uses Ganon as a target, then slices him up with the Master Sword)  
  
Ganon: (knocks Link away with the little bit of strength he has left)  
  
Link: Augh! (catches on to the side of the pillar and pulls himself up)  
  
Ganon: (coughs up blood. He is in pretty bad shape: cuts all over his body, cape all ripped, and he is struggling to breath.) The Great Evil King Ganondorf... beaten by a kid!? (coughs up more blood)  
  
Link: (smirks and puts his hands on his hips) Pretty embarassing, isn't it?  
  
Ganon: (reaching for the sky, Ganon screams and unleashes all the energy inside him in a gigantic aura of destructive power, destroying the beautiful stained glass that made up the walls of the room)  
  
Link: (just standing there, totally unharmed) Tee hee, that tickled.  
  
Ganon: (falls to his knees, then drops all the way down to the ground. A puddle of blood spreads from his body)  
  
Link: Ewww... I mean... YAY! I won! Awesome! Woah...  
  
Zelda: (encased in the crystal, she slowly drops down to the ground. As the crystal touches the ground, it disappears) EWWWWWWuh! Oh... my... god... I stepped in Ganon's BLOOD! Get it off, ew-hew-hew.... yucky...   
  
Link: Gross...  
  
Zelda: ....  
  
Link: ...  
  
Zelda: ........What?  
  
Link: ...(quietly) your line...  
  
Zelda: Oh! *ahem* Ganondorf... pitiful man... without a strong righteous mind, he could not control the power of the gods, and... (suddenly, the entire castle begins to shake)   
  
Link: Hey, awesome! It's a rollercoaster! Wheee! *puts his hands up in the air*  
  
Zelda: No, you idiot! With his last breath, Ganon is trying to crush us in the ruins of the tower! We must find a way to escape!  
  
Link: An escape route, eh? Hmm... (looks around) Aha! Look, a conveniently-placed walkway going all the way down the tower! How lucky we are!  
  
Outside the castle...  
  
Zelda: Gee, that was easy.  
  
Link: (panting and wheezing) "That was easy"!? You didn't DO anything!  
  
Zelda: ...(looks into the sky) What a pretty afternoon.   
  
Slowly , the caslte collapses. Ingeniusly designed, the castle levels collapse into eachother, forming a kind of floor as the individual small towers fall dowm.  
  
Zelda: Wow... I didn't know castles could do that!  
  
Link: Oh yeah, it's the new thing. All the castles are doing it.  
  
Navi: (shows up out of nowehere) Sorry I couldn't help you in the battle before, but I had some... stuff... to do... yeah, that's it. Stuff.  
  
Link: Stuff?! Let me tell you something, you stupid fairy, if you ever abandon me again I'll pull your wings out!  
  
Navi: *gulp*  
  
A loud noise is heard. This scares them... for some reason.  
  
Zelda: ACK! I'm scared! (pulls Link in front of her) If something comes at us, you're my human sheild!  
  
Link: What!? (escapes her grasp, and walks forward)  
  
A wall of fire comes up between Zelda and Link.  
  
Link: Um...  
  
Suddenly, Ganon springs into the air out of the rubble. Still wheezing and panting, he floats there for a moment. His eyes have turned totally white from the sudden surge of energy, and his cape is missing. For a few seconds he hangs motionless in the air and then, instantly, as if a bomb blew up inside of him, he throws his arms and legs out as far as he could and began to glow. Ganon's body began twisting and growing into a gigantic monster, and he dropped to the ground. No longer human, Ganon is now a fifteen-feet tall pic-monster thing with two humongous swords that he swung around wildly.   
  
  
Link: (pees his pants)  
  
Navi: We're toast.  
  
Ganon: ROOOAAAAARRR!  
  
Link: (weakly) I-I'm not af-fraid of you!....... (runs away)  
  
Ganon: (slowly follows)  
  
Link: (runs to the edge of the fire wall)  
  
Ganon: (still lumbering over towards Link at a snail's pace)  
  
Link: (taps his foot impatiently and stares at an inexistant watch on his wrist) Come ON!   
  
Ganon: (in a deep evil monster voice) You will die today Link!  
  
Link: Tch. Today? Not at the rate you're going. (crosses arms and leans against a remaining wall from the tower)  
  
Ganon: (charges at Link and with one blow destroys the wall Link was leaning on)   
  
Link: (falls on the ground and begins to cry at the thought of his impending doom) Waaaaaah!   
  
Ganon: (reaches back to strike the final blow)  
  
Link: AUUUGGGHHH! (rolls between his legs)  
  
Ganon: (looks for Link, as he did not see him roll under him)   
  
Link: ...Hey... (smiles, takes out the Biggoron Sword and hits Ganon in the tail)  
  
Ganon: (wails in pain)   
  
Link: Hahaha, hey! This will work!   
  
Ganon: No it won't.  
  
Link: It... won't???  
  
Old ugly piano teacher: (jumps out of nowhere and grabs Link from behind)  
  
Link: Auuggghhh! (he is unable to move)  
  
Zelda: LINK! She's OLD! Push her away!  
  
Link: I can't! She's... freakishly strong!  
  
Old ugly piano teacher: Don't worry, Ganon! With this little kid out of the way, you'll have no excuse but to practice the piano the piano ALL THE TIME!  
  
Oh NO! ...Again. Link is in trouble! He could die... FOR REAL THIS TIME! I bet you're on the edge of your seat. You're so mind-numbingly excited that you can barely move. you can barely BREATH. You're literally sitting there, in front of your computer, clawing at the screen and gasping as you say "Please! Please, for the love of god, make is less exciting! If you have any human decency in you, PLEASE make it less exciting! Please!" ...Well, maybe not.   
  
  



End file.
